“Who and what we surround ourselves with is who and what we become.” – Karen Marie Moning.
In our fast-paced modern world, we sometimes miss how we emulate and conform to the people around us. Our need to belong and desire to fit in is often relatively high.
At work, there may be a way that people talk to each other that we pick up, and we may find ourselves conforming to a new set of values. We may zone out on Facebook, Twitter, or television, filling our minds with the perspectives of others yet not knowing our stances.
We may have friends that encourage us with unhealthy habits. Before we realize it, our minds, language, and self-expression have become a reflection of other people’s lives, not our own.
What does it mean to know yourself?
Do you feel you have enough people who inspire you, believe in you, fill you with positive energy, encourage you to take responsibility, and support you in learning from your life experiences?
When we live with more awareness and choice, we realize that we can also choose the inputs that feed our souls or keep us wandering.
Here are seven tips to get you started on the journey of knowing yourself:
| 1. | KNOW YOUR CHARACTER STRUCTURE. When we better understand ourselves, we can experience ourselves as unique individuals. We are then empowered to make changes, build on our areas of strength, and identify areas where we would like to make changes that align with our core values. The VIA Institute on Character offers a free online self-assessment. Their research shows that people who use their character strengths daily are 3x more likely to have an excellent quality of life and 6x more likely to be engaged at work. Character strengths can address various life challenges and achieve positive personal and professional outcomes. Use your VIA character strengths to help you be happier, manage stress, build relationships, manage problems, boost confidence, and accomplish goals. |
| 2. | KNOW WHAT YOU STAND FOR. If someone were to ask you, “what do you stand for” what is your answer? While growing up, our choices are limited and influenced by the adults in our lives. These adults project their beliefs and biases onto us, and often we move right into adulthood without questioning or even realizing these projections are purely subjective. As adults, we can reflect on the beliefs that we took in as children and question whether they are the beliefs we want to live by in our own lives. A way to reflect on our thoughts and create our stands is by writing a Personal Credo. A Personal Credo is a simple but elegant process. A credo is a sacred and formal essay of the values and beliefs that facilitate your actions in the world. Credo comes from Latin, meaning “I believe.” By creating your Credo, you take responsibility for your inherited beliefs; you examine them to decide which ones fit your life and which do not. Then you add the values you want to guide your life. A Personal Credo also increases your credibility if you’re a manager or leader. Click here to download an exercise to create your Credo. |
| 3. | NOURISH YOUR MIND – LISTEN TO TED TALKS. Non-profit organizations like TED are about spreading great ideas and making them accessible for free through short inspirational talks by experts. I recently listened to a TedTalk by Harvard Psychologist Susan David on the psychology of how we can use emotion to bring our best selves forward. Women are often critiqued for emotional display, especially at work, yet our emotions are potent sources of information. I was inspired by this talk that encourages us all to develop a skill called Emotional Agility. David discusses what it takes internally to work with our thoughts and emotions and stories of thriving in the world. How we respond to these inner experiences informs everything that matters in our lives. |
4. | EXPLORE YOUR CREATIVITY. Do you relegate creativity to the world of the writer, musician, poet, painter, or other professional artists? In case you wonder if you’re creative, there are scientific studies to prove you are. Creativity is a way of life that embraces originality and makes unique connections between seemingly disparate ideas. Creativity is about living life as a journey into seeing and communicating the extra-ordinariness of the simplest, most everyday acts. About seven years ago, I began focusing on my creative side when I wanted to write a business plan for my coaching business. My first attempt was sitting down with the excel files I’d accumulated over the years of working in financial services. It felt like a dead end. I couldn’t get any inspiration from this approach. I googled a more creative approach to business planning and found two great books: Lisa Sonora’s “The Creating Entrepreneur” and Jennifer Lee’s “Right Brain Business Planning.” These two books not only got me down the path of planning in a way that motivated and inspired me, but the doors of my right brain also flew open as I began working with a visual process of drawing, imagery, and collaging. Since then, I have begun exploring Mixed Media Art Journaling. I process my feelings, explore undiscovered parts of myself, and walk with others as they do. |
| 5. | JOIN OR FORM A MASTERMIND GROUP. Think back to your study-group days when you and your friends would talk about what you were learning and what topics you struggled with. How much easier it was to pass an exam when you had the support of friends and peers to help you stay focused, work through challenges, and brainstorm ideas. You can get this today by connecting with like-minded, forward-thinking people on a similar path and organizing coffee dates or lunch dates to bounce ideas off each other. Google Meet-ups, LinkedIn, and Facebook groups offer a wide range of groups of like-minded others. Find a group or two that are exploring the kinds of interests that you enjoy. |
| 6. | REACH OUT. Don’t be afraid to seek help or advice. Ask people you admire how they achieved their goals and overcame obstacles. The most successful people have failed and struggled to succeed: Oprah, Michael Jordan, Lady Gaga, Sudha Chandran, Anna Wintour, and Serena Williams, to name a few. It takes courage to reach out to people you admire. We often let our self-limiting beliefs get in the way. If you read stories about successful people who failed, you’ll find they had support. Today you can also reach out to therapists and coaches. Many coaches have groups they run to make the cost of coaching more affordable – and better yet, you get a double bonus by working with a coach and a group of like-minded people. One day, you may be the person others seek out for inspiration and advice. |
| 7. | SAY YES. This inside-out approach of knowing yourself first, then surrounding yourself with those who can fan your flame, has guided me on the most important journeys of my life. But where o start? When we try to take on too much at one time, we can become overwhelmed and discouraged. Twelve years ago, in a brand-new year, I decided to begin saying “yes” – it became my year of “yes.” I didn’t say yes to just anything, though. I was intentional. I wanted to learn who I was becoming as a mom with adolescent children soon to be empty-nested. What inside me wanted to be developed and expressed that a bit of time was opening to allow exploration? I have had many great adventures in my life:
I learned from that “Year of Yes” that when I feel a little lost or don’t know where to start, I look for the “yes.” What can I say “yes” to right now? What’s at my fingertips? Who is the person I can pick up the phone and call? Where is the class that I never seemed to get to? What book have I wanted to read but never had the time to? We will never have more time than the present moment. Today is all that’s here. When we realize this, it is easier to see what’s right in front of us, waiting to be discovered. |
Terri Altschul Coaching
Terri Altschul is an ICF PCC – a Certified Coach with more than 3,500 coaching sessions. She has trained and coached individuals and groups at all stages of their career and lives in Fortune 100 and 500 companies, Start-ups, and Non-Profit organizations. One of her special gifts is helping you see your untapped potential and identifying the blockers to that potential.
